“Je pense souvent à toi tu sais…”
I’ve been reading these words everywhere since i came in France…well, especially in books, heard them in the movies, in text messages while I was dating French guys, on facebook and so on and so on. Why? Well, it was hard for me to understand at first, but I suppose they really do mean something…never known what exactly but they keep on having the same effect on me you know. They kinda fill me with the hope that humankind isn’t entirely lost and that some people remain the same time after time.
But there comes a time when this type of words could harm you or stop you from moving on and, like so many other French expressions and words they become forbidden.
But they still sound nice you know. There are tons of words and expressions which just sound amaizingly well in French, you guys, that I could not make up my mind on which is my favourite. And if you’re telling yourself that this should be the “je t’aime” well sorry to disappoint you but it’s not true.
Their “je t’aime” seems to be a fucking tabou here. You use it only in case of emergency, like in those moments when it seems to you that you are loosing the one you love and you tell yourself “For Pete’s sake, if I’m not gonna tell these words right now she/he ‘s gonna leave me forever “ And afterwards, well, you tell her/him “je t’aime” . But, as a foreigner here, I’ve never noticed if they really mean something when they tell it to you. It’s pretty hard to seese the difference between what’s real or not when it comes to their language God damn it. They do it all so smoothly that you get all charmed and stuff and you forget to look for a real meaning in all this.
But still, when they do give the “je t’aime” bomb you do tend to get freaked out. Cause well…it’s not your “te iubesc” , it’s not what your mother have told you when you were a child, it’s another language, it sounds different to your ears, to your other senses too , to your brain and it doesn’t have the same echo on your soul.
Personnally, since I’ve came here, I’ve used these words only one time…with the guys I mean. The rest of the time, I shove them in their face the simple and basic “je t’aime bien” which, well, for me means a lot of stuff. Like for example : you’re cute and funny and I like spending my time with you / you’re so cute that I’m always excited and happy to go out with you so that the other bitches get all jealous and kranky when they see us together / you’re a pretty nice guy, you have amazing blue eyes and you read good books / you have some pretty odd ideas and you don’t talk too much but daaamn you’re good in bed…etc etc. And I’ve never meant to hurt their feelings. The “je t’aime bien” works all of the time. And in the end, well, it’s a proof of respect as well, so I guess guys dig this.
Few of them dared to talk to me about the “je t’aime bien” subject…and those were the guys who gave a shit. So, that one day came when they asked me why do I add the “bien” at the end. Didn’t know how to answer, started explaining some bullshit about the translation from my mother tongue into theirs and all the linguistic differences and then let it be…
So, guess I’m the “je t’aime bien” type of girl.
Loosing the “bien” from the sentence is loosing your pride and your prejudices and putting your heart and your life in the hands of one random French man who, well ,in the end, turns to be so damn different from the prince charming you were expecting that it hurts. And why the hell, you’d do that twice?